FPL GW 6: Haaland Cleans Out the Laundry

FPL Classic

Brian’s The Liabilities (GW 28 / Last, Total 280 / Last)

Laundry sheets are dissolvable paper sheets that release detergent in water. They’re lightweight, packaged in cardboard instead of single use plastic, and often chemical free. Sounds great in theory, but terrible in practice when water can clean your clothes better than laundry sheets can.

Bruno (-1) is like a laundry sheet. Guaranteed 90 minutes, takes penalties, and good for defensive contributions. But in reality? He gets a yellow card, misses a penalty and is one defcon short of scoring points.

Sandra’s SZ (GW 79 / 1st, Total 323 / 3rd) (Triple Captain)

When it comes to laundry detergent, Omo is a long standing market leader that comes at a premium.

Haaland is like Omo. You’re spending a costly $14.4m to get him, but you get what you pay for. An Omo 3 in 1 capsule is like Haaland delivering 3 goal contributions in 1 game.

Derek’s Cole Fired Power (GW 68 / 2nd, Total 347 / 2nd) (Triple Captain)

Cole Fired Power generated plenty of electricity, but once government rebates were used up, prices went up by 24.6%, pushing inflation to 3% in August.

Haaland, at an inflated $14.4m, delivered an electrifying 48 points as Derek’s triple captain.

Dan’s A-Cunha Matata (GW 41 / 7th, Total 291 / 6th)

When inflation keeps rising, it’s worth focusing on the trimmed mean of 2.6% in August, and hunt for value wherever you can find it.

In laundry detergent, Aldi offers the best value for money.

Xhaka (9) is like Aldi laundry detergent. At a budget friendly $5.0m, he’s guaranteed 90 minutes, good for defensive contributions, and takes some set pieces. And what does he do? He delivers 2 defcon points, picks up an assist from a free kick, and gets a cheeky bonus point to top it all off.

Duy’s Duzor (GW 63 / 4th, Total 356 / 1st) (Bench Boost)

Duy’s team of Optus customers went through another network outage this week, this time coming with a 4 point bench boost.

• His Man United bias is proving costly, with Yoro (1) and Dorgu (0) combining for just a single point.
• Marco Bizot didn’t even play.
• Not all benchings were bad, as Livramento (6) was subbed off injured but still secured clean sheet points.

Vu’s Laser (GW 59 / 6th, Total 316 / 5th)

Vu’s team knows how to handle a network outage, maximising the bench with incredible 000 response time while still fielding a full side each week.

Let’s take a look at his bench:

• Ederson is in Turkey.
• O’Riley is in France.
• Muniz is injured.
• Robertson is no longer a starter at Liverpool.

Martin’s Big M (GW 63 / 5th, Total 63 / Started GW 6)

Roef (10) is now the highest scoring goalkeeper with 39 points. Sunderland was the only team to keep a clean sheet this week.

Captain Bowen (18) is the only striker to have played 90 minutes in every game this season.

Senesi (7) leads the defenders with 44 points, closely followed by Guehi (7) on 43 points.

And the mighty Big M has all of them.

Keven’s The Assets (GW 65 / 3rd, Total 321 / 4th) (Triple Captain)

Haaland (48) was a one man army. My next highest scorer? Andersen (3).

Duy’s GW 1 score held strong, even though three managers triple captained Haaland for 48 points.

Top weekly score tracker: Duy’s Duzor with 86 points in GW 1.

FPL Draft

Keven’s The Assets (41, 2nd) def. Brian’s The Liabilities (26, 3rd)

A Gabriel (13) bullet header to save my week.

For Brian, Sesko (8) performed well, but benching Thiago (13) wasn’t ideal.

Derek’s Cole Fired Palmer (24, 5th) drew Duy’s Duzor (24, Last)

Derek transferred in Senesi (7), his only player to score above 3 points, to salvage a draw.

Derek also benched his Chelsea lads Enzo (9) and James (3)???

For Duy, Watkins (8) has finally arrived, Aston Villa might be back.

Bobb (1) and Ndoye (1) keep letting Duy down week after week, maybe it’s time to field Xhaka (9)?

Sandra’s SZ (20, 4th) def. by Vu’s Laser (40, 1st)

Sandra executed a triple transfer, swapping Johnson (1), Anderson (3), and Mayenda (DNP) for Bergvall (1), Zubimendi (2), and Isidor (2) for a net gain of 1 point.

Haaland (16) remains virtually unstoppable for Vu, and he’s looking even more dangerous as Rogers (5) notches his first return.

Keep well stay swell~

Keven